When someone you care about is experiencing changes in memory or thinking, you may find yourself helping in new ways. This can happen at many points in a person’s brain health journey, whether they are noticing changes for the first time, beginning to experience memory loss, or living with a diagnosis such as dementia. Support in these cases could mean going to medical appointments, keeping track of medications, helping with everyday tasks, or simply being there to listen.
You don’t need to have all the answers. There are resources, tools, and people who can help you, and the person you care about, along the way.
The right kind of support will look different for everyone and may change over time. Start by thinking about where a little extra help could make everyday life easier.
Ask the person you care about what they would want your help with. You could have a discussion together about the things that are important to them in their daily lives, their relationships, activities they enjoy, thinking abilities, and what gives them a sense of purpose.
It is important that the person continues to do the things that matter to them, with the support of those around them, while adapting activities or routines when needed. Supporting someone in the areas of life that are personally meaningful for them can help them maintain their independence, sense of identity, overall wellbeing, and quality of life as their needs change.
Sometimes, these things include areas like:
Whenever possible, ask what kind of help the person would find useful, involve them in decisions, and support their independence and privacy. Even when someone needs more help, look for ways they can continue making choices and take part in things that matter to them.
You don’t have to manage everything yourself. Local and national organizations offer practical services that can make everyday responsibilities easier. Depending on where you live, resources may include meal delivery, transportation, help at home, financial or legal guidance, respite services, and social programs.
A local Area Agency on Aging can be a good starting point for understanding what services are available nearby. Organizations such as Meals on Wheels may also provide practical support at home.
You can look for support even if there is not yet a diagnosis. Reaching out early can help you understand what is available and give you more options if needs change later.
Supporting someone can sometimes feel isolating, particularly when their needs are changing. Connecting with other people who have had similar experiences can provide useful ideas, perspective, and support.
Community centers, healthcare organizations, faith communities, and organizations such as the Alzheimer’s Association may offer local or online groups. Some groups are designed specifically for people supporting someone with memory changes or dementia, while others focus more broadly on caregiving and healthy aging. You don’t have to wait until things feel difficult to reach out.
Technology can help you and the person you care about stay organized, connected, and safe.
Depending on their needs, helpful tools might include medication and appointment reminders, shared calendars, telehealth visits, health apps, or emergency alert systems.
You don’t need to use everything available. Choose tools that address a specific need, are easy for the person to use, and respect their preferences and privacy.
Supporting someone else can take time and energy. Paying attention to your own needs can help make that support more sustainable.
Consider where you could use additional help. Could someone else handle an errand? Could you share appointment responsibilities with another family member? Would a local service make one part of the week easier?
These changes can create room for your own sleep, health, relationships, and activities.
If supporting the person is affecting your sleep, health, mood, or ability to manage daily responsibilities, consider talking with your healthcare provider. Asking for help is part of caring for someone sustainably, not a sign that you are letting them down.
Changes in memory and thinking can happen for many reasons. If you or the person you’re supporting notices new, persistent, or increasing changes, consider talking with a healthcare provider. An evaluation can help identify possible causes and clarify what support may be helpful.
A sudden change in thinking, attention, or behavior can be caused by an urgent medical problem and should be evaluated promptly.
It may help to write down what you’ve noticed, when the changes began, and how they are affecting everyday life. Bringing those observations to an appointment can make it easier to start the conversation.
You don’t need to figure everything out at once. Think about what would be most helpful right now and start there.
Sometimes, the first step is recognizing that bigger changes may be needed. It can help to think about what you can manage together, what may need to change, and where additional support could make things easier or safer. That might mean looking into transportation, preparing for a medical appointment, asking another family member for help, joining a community group, or simply learning more about changes in memory and thinking.
Whether someone is just beginning to notice changes or has been living with cognitive changes for some time, supporting them is something you can approach one step at a time. There are resources available to help you both along the way.
For additional information and support, visit the National Institute on Aging, Alzheimers.gov, AARP, or the Alzheimer’s Association. The Alzheimer’s Association also offers a 24/7 Helpline at 800-272-3900. Your local Area Agency on Aging can help you find services in your community.