Medical appointments can feel rushed, and sometimes overwhelming, especially when your concern is about memory or thinking changes. Whether you have concerns about your own brain health, or are supporting someone who does, effective self-advocacy helps ensure concerns are heard and questions are answered. You do not need to know exactly what is causing the changes before speaking to a healthcare professional. The goal is to start a conversation and work together to understand what is happening and what to do next. .
The care team will typically include the person with memory concerns, their family member or care partner, and the clinical team. Everyone can bring valuable information to the conversation, and the person experiencing the changes should have a space to share their perspective whenever possible.
Brain health concerns often bring subtle, but meaningful changes in memory, attention, thinking, and communication. Because appointments may be brief, it’s easy for important details to be missed.
Self-advocacy helps you:
Advocacy is about being prepared, clear, and engaged.
Good advocacy starts before you walk into your doctor’s office. These tips can help you feel more comfortable and confident during the appointment.
A short written list helps keep things on track. Work with your family, or those who know you well, to include:
Tip: Keep the list short, with 3 to 5 top priorities, to make sure the most important issues are addressed.
Someone who knows you or the person you’re concerned about well can offer helpful observations and fill in gaps. Whenever possible, the person experiencing the concern should share their perspective first, with others adding details or clarification as needed. This helps keep their voice and experience at the center of the conversation.
Come prepared with key information in one place, such as:
Being organized saves time, reduces stress, and helps the care team focus on what matters most.
Open the visit with your top concerns so they don’t get lost:
If you are concerned about changes in memory or thinking, it is okay to say so directly:
Honest, concrete examples give your provider a better picture of what’s happening. Instead of “My memory is getting worse,” try “I’ve been repeating questions daily and forgetting recent conversations.”
You don’t need to work out what is causing a change before bringing it to your healthcare professional. Your job is to describe what you’ve noticed; their job is to help work out what might be behind it. For example, instead of saying “I think I’m developing dementia because I keep forgetting things,” you could say “I’ve noticed that I am forgetting recent conversations and asking the same questions more often.” Being clear, specific, and using plenty of examples gives clinical staff the raw information they need.
If something isn’t clear or you feel misunderstood, speak up. Clear understanding is essential to good care.
Take brief notes, ask the person with you to help, or request written instructions or visit summaries so nothing is missed later. Confirm the plan before you leave.
A quick recap keeps everyone aligned:
You might ask: “Before I leave, may I repeat the plan in my own words to make sure I understood it correctly?” This is especially helpful while the information is still fresh.
This makes future appointments more productive and focused. It can also help you notice patterns that may be useful for your healthcare team.
Advocating for yourself in medical appointments starts with preparation, honesty, and a willingness to ask questions. If you notice persistent or concerning changes in memory or thinking, bringing them up is an important first step. Seeking an evaluation gives you and your care team an opportunity to understand what is happening and decide what support, if any, would be helpful.
It is important your voice is heard, your concerns are addressed, and your care reflects what matters most to you.